hello my fellow journey travellers. how are you doing? my body and soul is little fatigued and, if i am honest, i am floundering somewhat. sometimes i wonder if living in the real world can actually accomodate the demands of creative recovery and i truly need those of you out there juggling such a life, to please share your guide to survival!
i struggled tremendously with the reading deprivation, to the point of failure i would say, but honestly more out of habit rather than complete disregard for the task. there have also been many moments when i have questioned, as i imagine julia cameron would, whether i have placed my recovery as enough of a priority in my life, as i am so obviously lacking in the commitment i should be making towards it. and that has troubled me somewhat. but, as i think both helen and i have intimated in the past, this journey is as much about embracing our imperfections as it is about completing the artists way. and so, even if the journey is completed not to our perfect satisfaction: it will be completed regardless.
so congratulations to all those who stand here with me at the end of week 4. come rest your weary feet for awhile, as the pace picks up now, and we have just one week to complete each of the remaining weeks to follow.
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I share the doubts you have about my artistic recovery being enough of a priority in my life. I've done the reading deprivation this week and I did knit a funky bag for my yoga mat and bought a digital SLR that I've been wanting for about a year now, but no MP's or AD. I've also still to do any of the tasks of the past weeks. I keep thinking that I've done them before (previously I completed TAW up to week 6) and that my answers will be the same they were back then. I know it's just an excuse...
Welcome back to the living!! I think you're right about reading out of habit. We're taught to read from the time we're young. We've been taught to keep ourselves and our mind "busy". When we deprive ourselves of this "busy" activity all of sudden we're forced to face ourselves and that's not always so comfortable.
My! Reading deprivation was a nightmare for me! I think I managed it roughly in the end, but only because my latest creative task of two cosplay costumes (which I have never made one of before) in one week, took nearly every minute of my time that wasn't already taken up with general life and parenting...and then some!(there is nearly a weeks worth of laundry to catch up on!)
Other than that it left me feeling out of touch, lonely, slightly guilty, and confused about how I spend my time, as to whether it's fruitful or not.
Fatigued at this moment, seems an appropriate word, along with daunted. I have a lot to catch up on, including left over week four tasks...I missed my MP's and going for a walk three days in a row with the London cosplay thing, and I certainly can't imagine trying to go to one week at a time!!
Does that mean lack of commitment or not? I'm not sure.
Is asking to go at my pace simply not going at enough of a pace? Taking it too easy? Life doesn't feel like it at the moment!
I find I am learning that to carry on with all the things I want to do in my life means clearing the space, organising and commiting focused times to each of them and remembering as I do this, how much I love each of my choices...and being gentle with myself and my expectations.
My children are my choices, my husband is my choice, my friends are my choice, sleep is my choice, art is my choice and relaxation is my choice...this is a good time to let the unloved choices fall away I guess.
Perhaps this should have been a blog, but it's here now! Hope that's OK.
Big kiss.
I'm beginning TAW process and reading through your experiences is a pleasure. It's helpful to know what to possibly expect and ideas for making sense of the emotions that spring up from this process. I have a difficult time being gentle with myself so any reminder to do so is soothing. Thanks for sharing yourself in this way. I've started a blog to document my TAW journey and serve as a means of communication with other TAW adventurers. Please check it out if you have a spare moment. I'd love to hear your feedback. Also Lilly Rose Chen wrote me saying that two women started this online group. Yourself and who? Just curious because I started a face-to-face group just last week and would love to get any advice from another who has organized an TAW group. Thanks and best wishes. ~Sara Moriarty http://livingtheartistsway.blogspot.com
I consider my week a failed attempt at reading deprivation. Though, whenever I caught myself reading, I'd immediately stop and go off to do something else. It just happened so often that I don't consider having had much success. I know I judge myself too often and often too harshly, so It's a nice relief to read the experiences and advice others share, here at TAW. It really does help to put things into perspective. Thank you Loes, Lilly and Julia for your encouraging comments.
I did really well at not reading anything as far as books go. (Aside from during my work day. I work in a book store buying used merchandise so there was no way around that one)
What I didn't do so well at was staying away from other time wasters such as internet browsing and playing guitar hero - a LOT! I didn't really get a whole lot done creatively. I attribute that to struggling to overcome a head cold that has last almost 2 weeks, the onset of the cold weather and working 7 days in a row.
I think I want to attempt this again in a few weeks here to see if I can do better. I'm sure I can. I just didn't have the will power at this time.
The desire was there to draw but I just did not make it happen. On the upside, there are lot of ideas floating around in my head that I'm excited about.
Another positive is that my "guitar" skills have gotten a lot better.
I'm so far behind. I really want to catch up with you all but I'm worried about the reading deprivation. Honestly, at this point in my life, with all of the stress we are going through, I just can't give up my one and only drug... reading. My husband will be having surgery on his neck next Tuesday. I'm sincerely hoping that things will start to get easier after next week when he will be recovering rather than trying to determine the extent of his injuries. I really need to get back to writing, for stress relief if for nothing else, but I am amazingly uninspired.
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